Older Child Adoption

The field of adoption has changed. Different types of children are available. Parents are changing. The issues are changing. Adoption agencies are changing and growing, also.

There are many types of adoption agencies, each fulfilling varying needs in differing locales. We asked one adoption agency, the Children’s Home Society (CHS) of North Carolina, in Greensboro, to help our readers see the inside an adoption agency.

The Children’s Home Society of North Carolina was founded in 1902. Everyone on staff has the short and clear mission statement memorized. “The mission of The Children’s Home Society of North Carolina is to promote the right of every child to a permanent, safe and loving home.”

CHS is a statewide, non-profit, non-sectarian, private adoption and foster care agency serving children and families throughout North Carolina. They have a staff of 77, 44 of whom are social workers. As a licensed child placing agency, the state of NC requires that social workers have a B.A. in social work or human services and at least two years experience, or an M.A. At CHS, a third of the social workers have an M.A., and nearly 70% of their social workers have 15 or more years of experience.

CHS places children from newborn through age 18. In 2000, they placed 54 infants and 110 school age children. Most of the older children are considered special needs due to their age, as well as the abuse and neglect they may have suffered.

Sandy Cook, the executive director of CHS, admits that nowadays they as an agency have to expect more of prospective families since the kids available for adoption have more issues than in the past. “The levels of abuse and neglect these children are exposed to is worse than in the past. A large percentage of the problems are related to drug abuse by the birth parents.”

“We look for adoptive families who are flexible and child focused. Also, it’s important that they don’t have huge expectations for their children…that they are able meet the child where the child is.” Ms. Cook adds, “We also look for a certain commitment level from prospective parents. They might not even articulate it themselves, but we can see it.”

When families first begin working with CHS, social workers communicate that adoption is a lifelong process. “We tell families, ‘we believe that you will need our help and support from now on.’”

The pre-adoption process at CHS includes pre-adoption training. Families learn about general child development, foster care and out-of-home placements, issues of birthfamilies, anger management, grief and loss, and Love and Logic parenting techniques. Once families are certified, it can take from 3 or 4 months, to a year or longer until placement. “We look for families that fit with each individual child,” says Ms. Cook.

For the past two years, CHS has had Supportive Post Adoption Network in place and their post adoption services continue to expand. Services include Love and Logic workshops, multi-cultural training, and support groups. Social workers across the state are expected to “keep the pulse” of local resources so as to have accurate information to pass on to post-adoptive families. “We cannot place special needs children if we can’t supply support down the line for the families,” says Sandy Cook.” She adds, “The best information is from other families: that’s where we as an agency learn the most.”

CHS shares in the challenges and the joys of their families. They celebrates their families’ successes whether it’s a child graduating from high school, or, Sandy adds wryly, “When a child hasn’t been kicked out of high school…!” They also worry when a parent becomes depressed over the challenges of parenting. Yet, they rejoice when a long-time parent still fights for the needs of her child and his issues.

“We wish we could find homes for every child,” says Sandy Cook. “All we can do, though, is try to make a difference one child at a time.”