Older Child Adoption

One of the most important things an adoptive parent is asked to do after they decide to adopt a child is to choose a name. This is a very personal decision and helps create an instant bond with your child. No longer a nameless, faceless little person, your new addition now has a name by which he will become known.

Naming your child is often a difficult decision. Many people plan and think about names for their children for a long time; they have already chosen special family names or ones that they like. A key difference in choosing names for a toddler is that he will already have a name that he is known by and responds to.

In most cases, when you receive the referral for your child, you will be given biographical and medical information along with either a first or middle name. Many people struggle with whether to keep or change their child’s name; frequently, they only have a few days to make this decision. Some of the factors that must be considered are the age of the child, his cultural ties, and the complexity of his existing name.

Your child’s age should be one of the greatest factors in deciding whether to keep or change her name. The younger a child is, the easier it will be for her to adjust to a new name, while an older toddler may be more resistant to change. Her name may be the only thing that truly belonged to her, and she may be reluctant to let go. It is who she is: her personal identity.

A common misconception is that a child’s name was chosen by his birth parents and thus deserves special consideration. This is not always the case, especially when children are given up as infants or abandoned. Orphanage workers, adoption professionals, or government officials may have named these children.

Even more perplexing is that the child’s given name (the one you receive) may not be the name that the child goes by. He may be called a derivative of the name, a nickname, or another name that someone else may have chosen.

However, cultural considerations help foster a child’s heritage. These considerations may be especially important to help maintain the cultural identity of a child who is of a different ethnic heritage than his adoptive parents. Keeping a child’s given name can help provide an important link between his birth country and his adopted country. This may not seem important to a child when he is younger, but it most likely will be as he comes to understand adoption and his origin.

Other factors to consider include whether the name is impossible to pronounce correctly, whether the child will be teased about his name, and whether the name is socially acceptable in your community. A Jewish family who adopts a child named Adolph or Dejesus would probably change the child’s name. Because words mean different things in different languages, it may be that the child’s given name has a completely different meaning, which may necessitate a name change.