Older Child Adoption

We all get asked about it during the homestudy; it doesn’t matter if we’re singles, couples, first-time parents, or repeating parents.

“What support system do you have in place?”

Few of us are so lucky as to be able to say, “My mom, who’s completely supportive of this adoption, loves children, and lives across the street, has volunteered, for free, to look after my child whenever I’m sick, need a break, or have to go out of town on business.”

Usually we come up with a few support suggestions like, “My neighbor, my great uncle and my church will all help out when I/we need it.”

Practically, however, we need systems in place to help cover sick children, out-of-town business trips, early-morning or evening business meetings, when we’re sick, and when we need a break. A few parents are lucky enough as to be able to have a live in nanny/housekeeper; then, there’s the rest of us!

Following is a list of places to look for support whether it’s an occasional babysitter, a regular after-school provider, or an overnight caregiver.

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Your children’s teachers

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Recommendations of your children’s teachers

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Local high school

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Local college, especially child development majors

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YMCA Kids Night Out (typically Friday nights, three hours, inexpensive)

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Drop-in child care (usually only available in larger cities)

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Day care facility at local college

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Babysitters on a list at the local YMCA who have taken the babysitting class

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Ask parents of your child’s friends for suggestions

After our children are home, we realize that it’s not just a network to support us in our daily living, but support groups to help sustain, validate, and inform us. The support group you need might be for: adoption, international adoption, country-specific adoption, single parents, parenting, or others.

To find a support group, start with your adoption agency or social worker. See if they know of or are involved with families who are looking for the same support you are.

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Check with your local Department of Social Services.

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Look in the phone book under social service organizations.

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Check the listings in your local newspaper.

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Find a national organization that covers your interest and see if they have a local chapter, or if you can start a local chapter.

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Check with therapists, social workers, and counselors who work with the topic/issue that is of interest to you.

If you’re anything like me, your initial thought is that I (we) can do this without much help. After a while, though, I realized that asking for help was a parenting survival technique.