Older Child Adoption

Many people will not understand your desire to adopt transracially, and you may experience unexpected prejudices. Even those you know and love may surprise you. You will be asked many personal questions that may be inappropriate. You may also experience rude stares or unnecessary comments from strangers.

People may ask you if this is your child or may assume that you are babysitting or that your spouse is of the same race as your child. You will also get ridiculous questions such as will your child speak his native language (even if he is an infant who cannot talk) or is he a member of the Communist party.

Families who adopt transracially may find that they receive criticism within their own community and from those who are native to their child’s birth country. Sometimes, friends or relatives who were less than thrilled at the prospect of your adoption may be even more standoffish once you are home. However, this type of attitude will quickly separate the women from the girls.

p>Only a handful of studies have been done on the success of transracial adoptions, but most show that the adopted children generally are well adjusted and comfortable with their families. In a recent study, the Search Institute likely to be highly attached to both adoptive parents. Sharma said 80% of Korean adoptees said they get along equally well with people of their own and different racial backgrounds, though 42% said they’re occasionally ashamed of their race.

Older studies of Korean adoptees focused on the adaptation of the child to the American family. Smoothness of adaptation equaled success. A positive outcome was the child’s identification as an American, not as a Korean. No one ever asked how well the family adapted to its new identity as one with a diverse membership and diverse cultural connections.

There is no doubt that transracial adoption introduces a layer of complexity into the child’s life, but so does illness, divorce, and everything else that goes with living. Sharma also noted that any family that adopts transracially, “becomes inherently a transracial family, not a white family with a child of color.” For most adoptive parents, the important information is that these studies on intercountry adoptees paint an optimistic picture. The general impression

Medical Conditions from reading the studies of specifically Korean adoptions is that of good outcome based on positive indicators such as educational achievement, good relationships with families and peers, and a general feeling of positive self-worth and confidence enjoyed by the adoptees.

The question of connection with cultural heritage and racial identity is considered in all the studies. The commonly held position is that, “pride in cultural identity is essential to reducing the crisis of adolescent identity and resolving role conflict.” Studies describe parents eagerly providing cross-cultural experiences for children until adolescence. At that point, the children’s interest seems to naturally wane as they become involved in teenage pursuits that require “fitting in” to their mostly Caucasian peer group. A group of Korean adult adoptees cautioned parents to be sensitive during this period. They advise parents to be responsive to their children’s reactions to cultural activities native to the child. Interactions with Asian-Americans may be awkward for children of this age, as the thoroughly American behavior of the adoptee may perplex and disappoint the Asian-American. Other studies emphasized that such factors as self-esteem are more important than cultural identity for successful adoption results.

While growing up, adoptees do not want to be differentiated by other children in the society. They want to have blue eyes, blond hair, and fair skin, so they may not be happy about their Korean or Chinese middle name. When they reach college age, they begin to appreciate their ethnic background. On one survey of Korean adoptees 45% of the male respondents considered themselves Caucasian and 34% of the female respondents viewed themselves Caucasian while growing up. Once adoptees go to college, they are exposed to a diverse of races on campus and this gives them the opportunity to seriously consider their ethnic identity.

The positive outcome from intercountry adoptions surprises some researchers, though probably not adoptive parents. Why does intercountry adoption work as well as it does? Some researchers’ explanations build on David Kirk’s belief that adoption works best when there is openness about the adoption and acceptance of the difference between parenting biological and adopted children. The researchers suggest that parents of ethnically different children approach the inherent difficulties of adoption in an open and accepting fashion.

Some suggestions on achieving this openness are interacting with people of your child’s race; finding mentors or role models for your teenager that are of her race; confronting racism openly and discussing it with your child; and creating a positive cultural environment at home. There is no formula for success. The most you can do as a parent is try hard and hope it all turns out.